Twas the Night Before Chistmas

I recently listened to a discussion on the Rush Limbaugh program from a Democratic caller who was still livid about the 2000 election, and continues to believe George Bush and the Republicans "stole" it. But as Rush reminded the caller, the New York Times, CNN, USA Today, and several other liberal media organizations conducted a detailed audit after the election, and found that the vote count was accurate, and Bush did win Florida by 538 votes, and thus the national election.

This certainly was the most bizarre election in the history of the USA, and voters in Palm Beach will be the subject of election jokes forever. We sat by and watched months of legal BS while countless teams of Democratic and Republican lawyers carefully examined voting cards to try to determine if the chads were "hanging, "dimpled", or "pregnant". Finally, just before Christmas the Supreme Court put a stop to the madness, and the 2000 Presidential election was certified, and George Bush declared the winner over Al Gore.

After the 2000 election was finally over, I wrote a Christmas poem to celebrate the process. This being the holiday season, I thought it might be appropriate to republish this poem.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Twas the Night Before Christmas II

Charles L. Strickland, December 2000


‘Twas the night before Christmas at the White House this year,
the Demos had gathered to all shed a tear;
Barbara, Jesse, and Al Sharpton were there,
hanging their heads by the chimney with care.

Bill Clinton was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of Monica danced in his head;
And Hillary in her kerchief, and Chelsea her cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
They arose from their beds to see what was the matter.
When what to their wondering eyes should be seen,
But Tipper and Al with a Vote-a-matic machine.

“We flew in from Palm Beach, and guess what folks?
I think we have found some more votes!
Look at these ballots with hanging chads pushed through,
and I even have dimpled and pregnant ones too!”

“Oh please Bill, can we count them once more,
you promised the next President would be named Al Gore”
Bill settled him down and said, “Do I need to repeat?,
The Supremes have spoken, and you are dead meat!”

So they all went inside and gathered around,
to see if George W. Bush’s FBI file could be found.
And as Christmas drew near, you could hear them all sigh,
“Merry Christmas to Al, and to Al a good-bye!”