"Hope and Change"

I don't know why I have had writers block the past few weeks, perhaps it's the holidays or maybe in my excitement anticipating the inauguration I just can't wait for the "hope and change" coming this year - along with lots to write about.

Here is what I am "hoping" for...

I am hoping that we pack up and leave Iraq and let the Sunni and Shiite Muslims get on with killing each other off. Maybe the Iranians can recruit another 70 thousand Shiite suicide bombers (in addition to those selected for war against Israel), and they can go after the Iraq Sunnis. The Iraqi Sunnis can then go to Saudi Arabia and recruit 70 thousand Sunni suicide bombers and they can all meet in Iraq and have one big self-sacrifice. Allah will have to work overtime to prepare the virgins - but can you imagine the fun those martyrs will have when they get to heaven?

I am hoping the Israelis and Palestinians will finally have peace with each other. But we must have patience; after all they have only had 50 years to work out their differences.

I am hoping Barack sends us all a BIG check to stimulate the economy. Don't worry about where the money will come from or how big the deficit will become. I have heard from a very reliable source that the US Mint has already doubled their order for ink next year in anticipation of the Obama administration. Who knows, someday Barack Obama's picture may be on the $100,000 dollar bill that you will use to put a down payment on your new car.

I am hoping for a 20,000 point stock market in 2009.

But even more important is the "change" we have to look forward to...

Even though Obama has filled his cabinet with more than 50% of Clinton "retreads", obviously they must have learned from their mistakes or the "messiah" would not have selected them. No more corruption or special interests. Forget about Illinois and Blago - Obama had no connection with those corrupt Chicago politics. After all, he has disassociated himself from Pastor Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan. He has said his close relationship with convicted felon Tony Resko was a mistake, but assured us there was no wrong doing. He has said that his relationship with the terrorist Bill Ayers was just a distant "friendship" and that kicking off his campaign in Ayers house was not a big deal.

We need to give Obama a break - as he says "The days of old boy politics in Washington are over". Sure his staff dropped the ball in not finding out that Bill Richardson, his designate for Commerce Secretary was being investigated for corruption ("pay to play" - does that sound familiar).

And he is raising the CIA to a higher level installing Leon Panetta as Director - he promises no more harsh interrogations like those in the Bush administration conducted. We will now be a kinder gentler country and convince terrorists that they need to become good guys. No more Metallica playing 24 hours - they will get Lazy Boys, iced tea, and wind chimes. I am sure this gentle treatment will convince them to reject Islam and come over to our side.

If you have a business in these difficult times do not worry, the government will bail you out. Don't be a "capitalist slacker" and try to work your way through your problems...after all the government is there to help.

But the biggest change I look forward to is that finally I will have a government that will take care of me. I worked my butt off all my life and now a "messiah" has come along to tell me that "I do not have to work so hard, the government is there to help" - damn, and here I am retired. Those of you that are out there working for a living - how lucky you are - slack off, the government has arrived.

But if you have been on welfare all your life, what can I say - unfortunately you folks will not experience the exciting "changes" that the rest of us are looking forward to.

I can't wait.