Twas the Night Before Chistmas

I recently listened to a discussion on the Rush Limbaugh program from a Democratic caller who was still livid about the 2000 election, and continues to believe George Bush and the Republicans "stole" it. But as Rush reminded the caller, the New York Times, CNN, USA Today, and several other liberal media organizations conducted a detailed audit after the election, and found that the vote count was accurate, and Bush did win Florida by 538 votes, and thus the national election.

This certainly was the most bizarre election in the history of the USA, and voters in Palm Beach will be the subject of election jokes forever. We sat by and watched months of legal BS while countless teams of Democratic and Republican lawyers carefully examined voting cards to try to determine if the chads were "hanging, "dimpled", or "pregnant". Finally, just before Christmas the Supreme Court put a stop to the madness, and the 2000 Presidential election was certified, and George Bush declared the winner over Al Gore.

After the 2000 election was finally over, I wrote a Christmas poem to celebrate the process. This being the holiday season, I thought it might be appropriate to republish this poem.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Twas the Night Before Christmas II

Charles L. Strickland, December 2000


‘Twas the night before Christmas at the White House this year,
the Demos had gathered to all shed a tear;
Barbara, Jesse, and Al Sharpton were there,
hanging their heads by the chimney with care.

Bill Clinton was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of Monica danced in his head;
And Hillary in her kerchief, and Chelsea her cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
They arose from their beds to see what was the matter.
When what to their wondering eyes should be seen,
But Tipper and Al with a Vote-a-matic machine.

“We flew in from Palm Beach, and guess what folks?
I think we have found some more votes!
Look at these ballots with hanging chads pushed through,
and I even have dimpled and pregnant ones too!”

“Oh please Bill, can we count them once more,
you promised the next President would be named Al Gore”
Bill settled him down and said, “Do I need to repeat?,
The Supremes have spoken, and you are dead meat!”

So they all went inside and gathered around,
to see if George W. Bush’s FBI file could be found.
And as Christmas drew near, you could hear them all sigh,
“Merry Christmas to Al, and to Al a good-bye!”

Thanks Uncle Sam

I am a retiree living the good life at the expense of the government - of course I did contribute to the Social Security System for over 50 years, so I guess they owe me a few bucks. It was announced recently that the annual Social Security benefit for retirees would increase 2.3% next year. For the average retiree this amounts to a $24/month increase in 2008. Unfortunately, those of us that are fortunate and have our own retirement fund, must pay "income tax" on half of that. Thanks Uncle Sam.

Let's put this in perspective - at today's prices this amounts to an additional 8 gallons of gas each month next year, three movie tickets, or a good bottle of wine each month, for the average retiree (assuming we don't see any price increases in our groceries, utilities, etc.). I feel sorry for the smokers, it will not even buy an additional carton of cigarettes each month - of course, most of them are probably dead by the time they retire (and Uncle Sam thanks them for their lifetime contribution to the Social Security Fund).

As someone that earned a nice salary for several years before retirement, I am one of the lucky ones, and my retirement income increase will be a whopping $30 a month in 2008. So with this additional income, my wife and I are already looking at cruise brochures. With this huge increase we are contemplating several cruises - possibly the tour boat at Morro Bay, the Bahia Belle on Mission Bay, or maybe even a special trip to Catalina Island for the day.

Forty million baby boomers are scheduled to retire in the next 15 years and they look forward to their "free" monthly retirement income.

The Social Security Fund earns an interest rate of 2.5%, a "spectacular" return managed by our brilliant Congress. In addition, Social Security revenues were supposed to be kept in a Trust Fund...surprise everyone - Congress has spent the money! George Bush recently proposed a system which would include voluntary Social Security private accounts that could increase this return by two or three times, but the Congress felt it was too "risky". They certainly have our best interest in mind, don't they? Of course they ignore the fact that there is no way the Fund as it's now structured, can support forty million retirees.

But it is not the retirees worry - it is on the back of our kids and grand kids. Yes kids, you need to start thinking of 60 hour work weeks and a retirement age of 70, that's what it will take to support us. So the politicians just "kick the can" down the road, and rather than "face the music", will defer the problem to some Congress in the future. Why not, it's too difficult of a problem to face right now, and if they tell people how bad the financial situation in the Social Security System really is, they might not get re-elected, which of course is the most important thing to them.

Anyway, I want to thank Uncle Sam for this generous retirement increase and cannot wait until Hillary becomes President, so in addition, we can get free health care, a $5000 gift for new children, a $1000 contribution to the 401K for everyone, paid leave from work...hey, wait a minute, why is she not doing anything for us retirees? We already have "free" health care, and we have contributed to our 401K's for many years. I think this is age discrimination! If Hillary cannot promise us retirees something "free", I'm voting Republican.

It's the Fruit Stupid

I am a winemaker. Well...a home winemaker.

As we end the wine making season and put this years wines to bed, it reminds me that the unsung heroes in the wine business are the growers - the people that grow the fruit that allow us Californians to make world class wine. In retirement, my hobby is both viticulture and wine making so I straddle "both sides of the fence" (eight foot deer fence that is). We grow small amounts of both Pinot Noir and Viognier, and in addition to making these wines, from time to time we buy fruit or get free fruit from generous grower friends.

Those that are "into wine" know that the winemakers are the heroes - especially if their wine is rated a 90+ in the Wine Spectator. When that happens we celebrate the winemaker and put him on a pedestal. And quite often they deserve it.

I have been making wine for only five years, so admittedly I am a novice. But I have never forgotten something I read once: "It's impossible to make good wine from bad grapes, but easy to make bad wine from good grapes". I know many people will disagree, but in my opinion, the fruit represents 75% of the quality of the wine, and sometimes the winemakers job is not to screw it up. Wine making in many ways is an art and good winemakers deserve the accolades, but if the fruit they start with is not good...good luck!

The grape grower nurtures his vines all year, worrying about water in a drought year, mildew and bunch rot in a wet year. And then there are pests - birds, bees, gophers, squirrels, raccoons, grasshoppers.....and a few exotic ones that can wipe out a vineyard. Then the grower has to prune each year, fertilize, spray for mildew and other diseases, thin leaves, then worry about birds eating his fruit, and finally finding someone to pick...and oh yes, hopefully he has found someone too buy the fruit.

So I salute the grower.
In politics, the favorite saying is "It's the economy stupid".
In wine making it should be, "It's the fruit stupid"

I want to be a Democrat

I have been a Conservative Republican all of my life, but after watching Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail, I have decided to become a Democrat.

Throughout my life, I have paid for my own health insurance, saved for my own retirement, paid my way through college, and along comes this wonderful politician that offers much of it for free. If she had come along when I was in my 20's , I would be writing this as a life long Democrat.

Hillary is proposing that every newborn baby be given a free $5000 gift from the government to be used for college, upon reaching age 18...or the funds could also be used to buy a house. We have six children and six grandchildren, and have helped many of them buy a house, and most of them with their college expenses. Now along comes a politician that proposes that the government help, or in some cases, pay all of these expenses. If she had only come along when we were younger!

Hillary is also offering all Americans government subsidized health care. After all these years of paying large insurance premiums, finally someone has come up with a solution - have the government pay most of it. Where was she when we were paying $800 a month for health insurance (with a 30% deductible). I am amazed that no one has thought of this before.

Hillary's latest proposal is a $1000 contribution from the government to all Americans to insure they start their own pension plan. We worked all our lives and saved to insure that we could live through retirement using our own finances, and now along comes this presidential candidate that offers much of it for free. Again, where was she when I was young? At least she will take care of our six children and six grandchildren. The idea is simple...unless you are "rich", the government gives you whatever you need...brilliant.

I am 68 years old and have worked hard all my life, and thought I was somewhat intelligent. But I am amazed that it never occurred to me that the solution to the struggles we all face in life are simple, turn to the government and ask them to pay. I have now decided to be a Democrat, and Hillary has my vote.

70 ain't what it used to be

Decade birthdays are always special....at 20 we celebrate no longer being a "teen" and happy to be entering the adult world. At 30 we lament that our young 20's are gone. At 40 we feel regrets that our younger days are behind us and we are approaching the "middle ground". At 50 we remember those younger days and accept the fact that we are "middle aged". At 60, a voice in the back of our mind starts telling us that, "old age is just around the corner". And at 70, this voice says, "old age is at the front door".

Recently I gave a surprise party for my wife Peggy, celebrating her 70th birthday. Many of her old friends and family attended. One would expect that at a party for someone turning 70, along with their old friends and schoolmates, you would meet a lot of "old" people. That was not the case. My wife and her (also) 70 year old close friend of 60+ years posed for this photo.






















We read about the epidemic of obesity in the US, and how so many people are "out of shape", and the physical condition of our citizens is only getting worse. I am here to tell you that many of us do stay in shape, and keep fit, maybe more than any generation before us. You should meet some of the "old guys" that attended this party, they were an exciting, energetic, and happy group. Self confident, comfortable, and perfectly happy to be "old guys"

And as you can see in this picture, "70 ain't what it used to be".

Where have all the fathers gone?

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A "Heaven Sandwich"

We have just returned from what I can only describe as a "heaven sandwich" - defined as, "a six day slice of heaven, with a slice of hell on each side". I will explain...

Every year we take our six grandchildren on a trip. This year it was to be a cruise to the Western Caribbean which we organized a year in advance. The plan was to fly to Ft. Lauderdale arriving at dinner time, have a nice evening swim and dinner, enjoy the morning in the pool, and board the "Princess Caribbean" cruise ship in the afternoon for a cruise to the Bahamas, Jamaica, Grand Cayman Islands, and Cozumel, Mexico.

Everything went according to schedule as we arrived at the airport at 6 am Saturday for our 7:40 flight. Everyone was on board, ready to take off, and the pilot announced "We have a problem and have to go back to the gate for just a minute". The minute turned into five hours. We then missed our connecting flights to Ft. Lauderdale, and finally were booked on the last flight that night at 10:30 pm. But sadly that flight was 1 1/2 hours late, and we arrived at Ft Lauderdale at 1 am, tired, but ready to go to our hotel and still excited about our cruise! But surprise - only 4 of the 8 bags we checked made it to Ft. L, and Delta informed us that the other 4 bags went to San Diego - yes, just 40 miles from our takeoff airport. And to top off this first slice of hell, they told us that they could not get the bags to us before the ship sailed on Sunday afternoon.

So after collecting 4 of our 8 bags, we arrived at our hotel at 2:30 am - a bit late to have a nice meal and go to the pool. The missing bags belonged to myself and three of our teenage grand daughters who had planned on this trip for almost a year. Since all four of us had only the clothes on our back, no choice but to go shopping for clothes before the cruise - but the "trip through hell" continued when we found out that none of the stores opened on Sunday until 12 noon, and we had to board the boat between 1 and 4 pm at the latest. So the race began - hire a van to take us shopping, come back to pick us up, then back to the hotel to get bags, and then to the boat. I shopped by myself and was able to get enough to get me through the first few days, but my wife had three teenage girls to shop for - a dress, underwear, bathing suit, etc., and
1 1/2 hours to do it in. A monumental job for girls that are used to taking an hour to make a decision. High stress stuff for grandma, but we did it. Our van driver picked us up at the mall (in a blinding rain and lightening storm - just another side note of this trip through hell), then off to our hotel for bags, then to the ship, with 30 minutes to spare. Thus ended the first slice of hell on the "heaven sandwich".










We then checked our group of eight onto the boat, and Princess took over - they gave us all the toiletries we needed, free laundry and dry cleaning with one day turnaround, and even provided me a full tux for the first formal night on Tuesday. They also assigned one person to track our bags and update us every day. Three days later in Jamaica, our bags finally caught up with us, and we were happy campers. The rest is history. The vacation was great and our grandchildren had a trip they will never forget.


















But after a week, it was time to go home and we again went "from heaven to hell".

Princess was very efficient checking us out the following Sunday, and we arrived at the airport in Ft. Lauderdale at about 10 am with a 3:40 flight out to Atlanta, connecting to Orange County, CA. I checked for earlier flights, but, everything was booked. So the eight of us relaxed at the airport waiting for our 3:40 flight. But yes, it was delayed an hour, then another hour, and so it looked like we had missed our connection to CA. But when we arrived at Atlanta, lucky us, our connecting flight was also delayed, so we were on our way home! Unfortunately this next flight was delayed also, and after getting on board at 9:30 pm (instead of 8), we were "ready to go". But the plane didn't move, and we sat at the gate for another 1 1/2 hours waiting for a co-pilot! He finally arrived and we were off, and everyone was happy.

But the happiness didn't last long...after taking off the pilot informed us that we had missed the curfew at Orange County (airport closes at 11pm) so they would have to fly us into Ontario and bus us back to Orange County airport. Lots of unhappy people, but by now everyone was numb and looking forward to arriving at Ontario , getting our bags, then on the bus and off to Orange County where our family was to meet us. But...remember this is the trip from hell.

We arrived at Ontario at midnight, and the first announcement made was, " Sorry about the delay, unfortunately the buses will not be here for another 1 1/2 hours". Now Delta almost had a riot on their hands. We were so exhausted, we just called our kids and had them come to Ontario to pick us up (an hour each way). The trip ended at about 3:30 am in bed...ironically almost exactly 24 hours after we got up on the boat and prepared to travel home. So the "final slice" of the sandwich ended, and we are now all home and will hopefully soon catch up on our sleep.

In closing I will say that if you cruise - go Princess, their customer service was outstanding. If you fly be ready for anything, and if this trip was an example of what the US airline industry is coming to, they are about to hit rock bottom.